why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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