i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
