you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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