i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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