I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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