This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
