A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
