You made me cry and you don't even care
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
How does one acquire holy water?
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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