the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I just gift wrapped bread.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
And then the night went full on bisexual.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize