rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
