remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
