why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
