At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
