remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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