Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
