the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
