Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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