There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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