dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
i can't believe i had my finger in that
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
