Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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