So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Randomize
