You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Randomize
