I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
