She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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