Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
