HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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