I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
