On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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