So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
