i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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