it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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