Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
