people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I am available for nakedness
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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