I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
please come you make the beer taste better
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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