It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Randomize
