can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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