Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
