He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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