Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Shame - the story of my life.
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