before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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