i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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