Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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