One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
