i permit you to call me
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
