We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
My vagina just clenched in fear
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
