We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
