There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
