Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
