she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
