Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
